Nashville "Barbies"

A friend sent this to me in an email, and I just had to share. Having spent almost half my life in the Nashville area, I thought this was pretty funny and wanted to pass this along to my fellow citizens of Nashvegas and the surrounding areas. I was a little disappointed that the author omitted Murfreesboro. What about the co-ed Barbie complete with flip flops, bubble tea, and the green MTSU parking decal prominently displayed from the rear-view mirror of her Prius Hybrid in metallic blue? (That's the warning sign the rest of us M'boro drivers look out for and know to stay the hell away! LOL!!) Jockey Ken sold separately with socks and sandals and a keg in the back seat of his Ford F-150.

Anyway, take a gander and enjoy! Us mommas can use a laugh every once in a while.

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Nashville Barbies

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition

Barbie dolls, made especially for the Nashville market.

'Brentwood Barbie'
This princess Barbie is sold only at Green Hills Mall. She comes

with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a

long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house.

Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift.
Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

'Hendersonville Barbie'
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with the Ford

Winstar Minivan and matching gym outfit.
She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.


'Gallatin Barbie'
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray

Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit.

This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash

(preferably small, untraceable bills) ...unless you are a cop, then

we don't know what you are talking about.



'Cool Springs Barbie'
This Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or

Hummer H2. Included are her Starbucks cup, credit card and

country club membership. Also available for this set are

Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper.
You won't be able to afford any of them.

'Ridgetop Barbie'
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans

two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and Tweety Bird tattoo
on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud Light and a Hank Jr.

CD. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt

when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get

a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

'West End Barbie'
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print

outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends.
Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.




'Springfield Barbie'
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own

high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased

beer-gutted Ken out of Ridgetop Barbie's house. Her ensemble

includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through

halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.



'Vanderbilt Barbie'
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,

archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white

socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or

need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Vanderbilt Barbies and the

optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.



' Antioch Barbie'
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional

accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his

1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find

since the addition of the infant.



' Bellevue Barbie'
She's perfect in every way.

We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.




' Dickerson Road Barbie/Ken'
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken

by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.