Mirror, Mirror

I had an epiphany this morning. While I was showering, I noticed I was losing a few more strands of hair than I normally did these past several months, a result of decreased hormones once your body gets over being pregnant. And after I finished, I got to looking at myself in the bathroom mirror. My hair is shorter now because of getting it cut for Locks of Love, and thankfully I don't have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep.

As for the rest, well, admittedly things aren't quite where they used to be, but that's ok. Though I'm not exactly where I'd like to be on the fitness scale (yet--I'm working on that), I'm actually quite comfortable in my own skin. While perhaps not as perky and packing a few baby pounds where once there were not, I feel pretty darn good for a mother of two. I can look at Zeke and Gabe and say, "Heck yeah, I did that! And I'm doing pretty good, thank you very much."

Women get so wrapped up in body image, and it's so sad how young we are when we start to pay attention to what the media says is beautiful. Which is why I was stoked to see a reality show featuring bigger women as one man's potential love interest ("More To Love," I think is what it's called). I'm not putting down thinner women, but it's about bloody time, people!

For my friends out there who have had babies and have gained a few curves in the process, I'd like to extend a virtual high-5 and say, "God love you, you're beautiful!" And to the men reading this who are married to these women, hug 'em and tell them how hot they are because they ARE!!! Just look at the gorgeous babies that body housed and delivered into the world! Yes, fellas, you are welcome.

Anyway, I just wanted to get on my soap box for a minute. It's a beautiful, though cloudy, day outside, and even though I'm having to work today, life is pretty darn good. And when I get home from work, I plan to kiss my husband in an impure manner just because I can (while the kids aren't looking, of course), and thank him for all the ways he makes me feel beautiful.

*sigh* La vie, c'est si bon! Have a great weekend, y'all!

Take a Moment

While I was getting things ready this morning, I looked out of my kitchen window and noticed the sunlight just beginning to break through the clouds. I had to stop and step out on the deck to take a few pictures, which clearly do not do it justice. Such a beautiful scene. It was a little after 5 a.m. and both Zeke and Gabe were still asleep. It was just me, my camera, and one of the most gorgeous views I'd seen in a long time.

I paused for thought, since this seemed the perfect opportunity to stop and reflect when faced with one of nature's moments like these. If you're religious, it's almost like God speaking to you, though you have to really listen if you want to hear what He has to say. How can you ignore Him when you gaze upon something like this, right?

Most mornings I find myself rushing. I rush to get ready, rush to get lunches packed and bottles prepped, rush to get the kids up and dressed and fed and out the door. But this morning, I took a minute to just stop and "smell the roses." Life's too short to be rushing through it all the time.

With Hubby being on the road so much, with myself working full time and the kids in day care all day, we don't get to spend a lot of time together these days, just the four of us. But on this morning, being in the reflective mood that I was, I told myself to slow down and enjoy what I have. The two little boys in their room sound asleep, my husband working his you-know-what off to give us what we have, and the job that I have that helps pay the bills and give us a better life. I'm thankful for those things.

And to anyone who cares to read this, I'd like to challenge you to slow down and take a moment to reflect. Enjoy every minute of your little kids' lives. They don't stay small, and before you know it, they're off to school and will eventually move out, maybe get married, and have families of their own. Thus is the Circle of Life.

As I picked Gabe up and put him in his car seat, I looked at his tiny little hand in my own, and I wondered what life has in store for him. I buckled Zeke into his car seat, him with his many stories to share so early in the morning, all with peanut butter around his mouth as he eats his sandwich and jabbers on. I'm going to miss this when they grow up. But I have them right now, still young, still my little babies. *sniffle*

Well, I guess that's all I have to say about that right now. I just felt the need to share that with the world. So there you have it. I hope some of you can take something away from that.

Now, back to work...

The First Week Back

I've had a chance to work a full week now, the first after taking about 3 months off for maternity leave. Why is it you can take 3 months off, come back to work, and STILL feel like you never left?? The days drag by and fly by at the same time, and I'm left wondering where the hours went and how am I supposed to fit in everything I need to do?

I haven't been able to bring myself to get up at 4:30 anymore. This week, 4:45 has been the time I stumble out of bed and start my day. I'll usually spend a few minutes waking up and getting myself halfway ready, then feed Gabe around 5 a.m. When he gets done with that and his morning constitution (which I will have to save for another entry because I actually have a lot to say about that particular subject), it's time to wake up Big Brother and roll him out of bed. We usually leave the house somewhere between 5:45 and 6:30, depending on how things go.

By 7 a.m. I've already dropped the kids off at the daycare and am on my way in to work. Being that I commute to Nashville every day, it's been about 8 a.m. that I find myself arriving at my desk. I used to ride the bus to work, but it's about got to where I just can't make the 6:02 bus anymore, and the next one at 6:08 takes an extra 45 minutes to get me to work due to the different route it takes. It's ok though--I do get to sleep on the bus rides, which is awesome.

Work, work, work...(insert 8.5 hours here)...

After sitting through Nashville rush hour traffic on the way home, I'm pretty frazzled. I'd forgotten how bad some of our local drivers are, and after taking some time off and not having to worry about it on the bus, I think I can safely say that Nashville drivers are bloody scary. That plus the roads are horrible. I had to quit swerving to avoid the potholes in the road because I was afraid I'd be pulled over for drunk driving! Governor: PLEASE use some of our tax dollars to fix the freakin' roads!

The kids and I get home at around 6 p.m. or shortly after. If Hubby is home from trucking, he will often go ahead and get dinner on the table. (I know. How awesome is that, huh? LOL) If not, then I have to cook dinner and feed the kids and myself, then bath time, brushing teeth, washing faces, story time, and eventually lights out. None of that is necessarily in that specific order, but I try.

Somewhere around 9:30 p.m. I find myself at the computer or watching tv. This is my "me" time, time to unwind and make plans for the next day. I'm big on planning and lists and getting things down on paper, so I already have tomorrow's list of errands set out for myself. Of course, the amount of "me" time is directly proportional to just how pooped I am by the end of the day. And usually, I'm pretty pooped. Before bed time, I have to get Gabe's bottles ready to take to the daycare in the morning, as well as pack my lunch for work. By 11 p.m. I'm out. Usually. I stayed up late last night watching a Ray Liotta movie in bed while Hubby was sound asleep. (By the way, Ray Liotta = Eye Candy...woo hoo!! LOL)

I still have mixed feelings about being back at work, but you do what you gotta do. Unlike my home country, having babies in America is not exactly easy on the wallet/purse/pocket book/money clip. But they're cute little things, although I had to turn down the lady at the tire place who was willing to accept Gabe as payment in full a few weeks ago. I told her the hospital has a lein on him, and I can't trade until he's paid off. *grin*

I have a feeling we're going to be paying for him for a long time yet. Eighteen years seems so far away! LOL

First Day

Just a short blog today, since I have to get my beauty sleep before I go back to work tomorrow. *sarcastic chuckle* But I wanted to take note of the fact that today was Gabe's first day as a "student" at the day care.

It was bittersweet leaving the building sans bambino this morning; I know he's in the best hands and will be cared for extremely well, but on the same note, I'm still just not ready to turn him loose. Not just yet anyway. Thanks to an unforeseen stay at the hospital that took out a third of my maternity leave, I haven't been able to spend as many weeks with him at home as I did with Zeke. Gabe has just started smiling and even giggling a little, and I hate that I'm not going to get to spend all day with him anymore to watch those all-important firsts.

But you do what you gotta do, and I need to help my husband earn a living to pay off some of these looming bills that I prefer not to look at. Who knew health care could quite literally cost the equivalent of certain body parts!

I will be back at work tomorrow, and as much as I'm going to be glad to be earning again, my mind isn't going to be on my work as much as it probably should. *sigh!* Oh well.

And now, time for some shut eye...

The Aquarium

This past Thursday, Zeke and I made a trip to the Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga. We originally planned to see the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta, but due to circumstances beyond our control, we had to make a change in our plans. Still, we had an excellent time.

It had been over a decade since I last visited the aquarium. We were able to spend an entire day walking around and exploring the exhibits, which were very cool by the way. Zeke had a blast. I don't remember how many times he'd run from one exhibit to another and greet each one with an enthusiastic, "Wow!"

Here are some of the neat things we saw while we were there...







One of my favorite exhibits was of the jellyfish. They are pretty amazing and fun to watch.

A video clip of some jellyfish in action...

Zeke enjoyed visiting with the penguins. These aren't real, by the way. LOL We couldn't catch a glimpse of the youngest penguins, the newest one being only 3 days old at the time of our visit.

One of the many large aquariums.

We had a great time at the aquarium. Zeke was even able to enjoy the 3D movie "Under The Sea" at the IMAX theater! I thought it was so funny the way he (and a few of the other little kids) kept reaching up trying to smack the fish out of the way that kinda got in our faces. *smiles* It's wild how those movies make you feel like you're right there.

After lunch at TGI Friday's, Zeke and I checked out the Ocean Journey and grabbed a couple of Slush Puppies before our trip back home. Needless to say it was only a short while on the road before a certain little guy nodded off to sleep. I think that means the trip was a success! It would have been nice if the whole family could have gone, but still, we had a great time just Zeke and me. I know as he gets older, we might not get to spend as much time doing cool stuff like this, so I'd better make the most of it now.

I wonder where we should go on our next Mommy-and-Me outing?

Growing and Growing

Today my youngest boy Gabe hit the two-month mark. We commemorated the event with a visit to the doctor's office for his well-child visit, where we learned he now weighs 11 pounds 5 ounces (when we brought him home he was only 5 pounds 10 ounces) and measures 23 inches (up from 18-3/4 inches). I'd say he's doing just fine in the growing department! LOL Yep, I can tell this kid is going to take after his momma. Aside from his temper (I don't know where he got that from...ahem!), he even looks more like me!

Gabe gave Dr. J a couple of big, gummy grins. I was a little surprised because most of the time, I can only coax a smile out of him if he's trying to do his business in his diaper (that would be "nappy" for my British pals). *grin* He'll look you in the eye and smile a nice big smile, and then his face will go a little red as he strains. But a smile is a smile, right? We'll go with 8 weeks as the official achievement of this particular milestone. He'll still give you a smile if you play with his chin, something that can now be replicated on most occasions if he feels like flashing you some gum.

So anyway, back to the doctor visit. Everything is going well, he's in good shape and alert and happy. Then in comes the nurse with no less than THREE syringes. Now I think of myself as an informed, experienced parent who has been through this before with Zeke and understands the necessity for good preventive medicine. But you still feel a pang of guilt as you get ready to hold your unsuspecting, oh so trusting child down, those little eyes gazing up at you with admiration, and the moment of impact when those same little eyes tear up and admiration turns to disbelief and disillusionment: "Mommy, why are you letting that woman hurt me??"

If you've been through this, you know exactly what I mean. Ugh! Heartbreaking stuff.

After the beet red hue of his head subsided, the sobs began. (Gabe, not me.) Great big tears ran down his cheeks, and all I could do was hold him and kiss him and tell him everything was going to be alright.

By the way, the picture of Gabe was not taken at the doctor's office, but rather was at home the moment he decided to let me know he was hungry and wanted something to eat...like RIGHT NOW!!! Geez. Don't kids know about the two-minute warning?

Tonight Gabe is with my parents because I'm taking Zeke to the aquarium in Chattanooga tomorrow. It's another one of our Mommy and Me excursions, and it will be a whole lot easier on everyone if Gabe sits this one out. Hubby's headed up to Indiana again this evening, so trying to maneuver two small children singlehandedly through that place will be more stressful than delightful.

And anyway, it's time to catch some shuteye before the big day, so on that note, goodnight! *smile*

Gabriel - Age 2 months

"You'd better not laugh!"

Sometimes it's hard to keep a straight face when faced with your preschooler's genuine emotions. Tonight I had spent quite some time getting Gabe to settle down for the night, when Zeke requested over and over his desire to hold his baby brother for a while.

"He's going to wake up and fuss," I told him.

"I wanna hold him!" was Zeke's reply.

"I just got him to go to sleep. You can hold him tomorrow."

"I wanna hold him!"

"I'm telling you, he's going to wake up and cry and I don't wanna hear it!"

"I WANNA HOLD HIM!!"

"Okay," I said calmly. "Then he'll start to cry, and I'll be mad because you didn't want to listen. Alright?"

I stood up and brought Gabe over to where Zeke was sitting on his bed and placed the sleeping baby in his big brother's arms. About 5 seconds later, "WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

"See? He started crying. Are you happy now?" I asked in the calmest possible voice I could muster.

I felt a small twinge of guilt as Zeke hung his head and that bottom lip started to quiver. Great. I'd made my 3-year-old cry. Fan-bloody-tastic! Now I've got two of them to listen to. I put Gabe in his crib with his pacifier and patted him on the back to help him calm down. Meanwhile, Zeke proceeded to tell me how it wasn't him that made Gabe cry and, of course, that I was a meanie and he was no longer my friend. I had to try not to laugh.

I sat down in the glider. Zeke went and stood just outside his room and wouldn't look at me despite my asking him to come back inside for a talk. After some coaxing and threats to cancel an upcoming trip to Atlanta, he finally climbed onto my lap, where I proceeded to explain very calmly why I didn't want him holding his baby brother at that particular moment. He said he understood, that I was right and he was wrong, although he still wasn't my friend, and he wanted me to stay with him and let him sit in my lap. Gotta love the conflicting statements!

Before I knew it, a small chuckle escaped from my lips.

"It's not funny!" said Zeke firmly.

"I know," I said with a grin. I chuckled again, a little louder this time.

"It's NOT funny!" he said again. This time the right corner of his mouth curled up a bit. I pointed at it.

"You'd better not laugh!" I said, trying to sound serious but failing miserably. I burst out laughing. So did Zeke. We laughed and laughed until I had tears running down my cheeks. Zeke hugged my neck and told me how silly we were and that he would stop being so mean.

"Are we friends now?" I asked. He nodded and hugged me again.

A few minutes later, the lights were out, Gabe was sleeping soundly in his crib, and Zeke was doing his best to lie in my lap like he used to when he was little (granted he's a bit tall for that now). It only took a couple of minutes before he was asleep, and I carried him over to his big boy bed and covered him up.

Kids. Sometimes they just crack you up, no matter how hard you try not to.

But at the same time, I think that can be a great thing, too.