I uttered those words for the first time yesterday. Usually by the end of the week, my patience has worn pretty thin, and I'd just read yet ANOTHER note from Zeke's teacher stating he had a hard time listening and keeping his hands to himself in the hallway. This was the second time this week, and I was irritated.
We were on our way home from school/daycare, and Zeke was in the kind of mood where he just didn't want to keep his hands to himself. All of a sudden, Zeke started hollering. In the Mommy Mirror (that wonderful devise that lets you see the entire inside of the minivan and the area immediately surrounding the outside), I could see Gabe pinching Zeke.
"What's going on??" I asked.
"Gabe pinched me!" yelled Zeke.
"Why did he pinch you?"
"I don't know!" (Lie. Just moments before, I saw Zeke waving his hands in front of Gabe's face and messing with him.)
"Tell you what," I said, "I want you to sit with your hands in your lap and don't bother your brother. Mommy has to concentrate on the traffic."
A moment later, all was quiet in the back, but I could see Zeke's hand edging its way up the side of Gabe's car seat.
"Hands to yourself, Mister!" I said sternly.
"But I don't wanna!" whined Zeke. "I just wanna put my hand right here on the side."
By now, Gabe was trying to remove Zeke's hand from the car seat. At the same time, he had taken to screeching at his brother at the top of his lungs.
"Alright, you two!" I had taken my voice up a notch or two. "Quit all that carrying on back there!"
"But--"
"Aaaarrrgggghhhhh!!" screamed Gabe.
"DON'T MAKE ME STOP THIS VAN! You'll get a whoopin' before we even make it to the house!"
[Cue water works from Zeke.]
"What's the matter now??"
"I don't like what you had to say just now."
[Mental head slap.]
"Well, if you'd do as you were told and not mess with your brother--who doesn't know any better, by the way--maybe I wouldn't have to tell you you'd get a whoopin'," I said.
I still love how I can get away with the mere threat of punishment, which has almost as good an effect. Hey, Hubby and I and many of our contemporaries lived through it, and we weren't emotionally scarred from getting our tails whipped if we stepped out of line.
My point? I have to say that while verbal reasoning with a child old enough to understand is a good way to encourage good behavior, I'm not against giving out a pop on the hiney, if one is much needed. Some parents feel we should never smack children. To that, I say, "GET REAL!!" Kids will be kids, but someone has to keep things in check, and sometimes a pop on the butt is what it takes.
It hurts feelings more than it hurts little behinds. Really.
You don't have to agree with me. Many don't. But when my mother got out her de-feathered feather duster (which was by then the perfect cane) after my brother or I screwed up, well, that put the fear of God in us pretty quickly. Of course, we grew big enough to where it didn't really bother us, so my mother found other ways to get her point across, when she wasn't happy with our behavior.
For now, my 5 year old and 1 year old will just have to learn these things in time. Until then, little bottoms beware!
