I sent an email to Zeke's teacher this morning. Nothing serious, I just wanted to see how things were going behavior-wise, since she'd called me last week on account of him being too physical when goofing off with his buddies. I said he was telling me he hadn't had any strikes yet this week. (She gives them strikes for everything from talking out of turn to not listening to breathing wrong...sorry, that last one was a bit of an exaggeration, but not by much!) He's also been, to my knowledge, staying on top of his homework.
The email I got in return was stoic, curt, and very matter-of-fact. This is her style. I'm still trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because she's quite personable face-to-face, but her written communication leaves a LOT to be desired.
She basically told me that homework needs to be signed AND discussed on a nightly basis. Judging from my email, it sounded to her that I've not seen this or been doing this, and it concerned her.
My gut instinct here was to call her up and cuss her out. Take THAT for criticizing my parenting skills, MADAM!!
But I didn't. Probably wouldn't reflect well on my kids either. Besides, some would probably view that as overreacting. *sigh!*
I'd like to point out here that I, personally, don't get more than a couple of hours with my kids each night before it's time for them to go to bed. This includes time for scouts, sports practices, and various other events that tend to pop up on occasion.
In other words, we DO have a life outside of school!
And shouldn't much of this be covered during school hours anyway??
It seems that, across the board and not just in America, there's been a shift in the role of parents when it comes to a public education. I honestly don't remember my parents ever asking to see my homework. I know I needed some help late at night when project deadlines were only hours away, and my dad would drive me over to the 24-hour Kinko's at 1 a.m. to get my US History report copied and bound, ready to turn in at 7:30 later that morning. (My dad is awesome, by the way.) :) But they didn't have to sign stuff every day, let alone DISCUSS why exactly does 2 + 2 = 4?
Life is very different now for my 8 year old than it was when I was 8. It's sad, but true.
There have been times I've had to put pressure on him to get his work done. We've threatened to pull him from sports, if he's not willing to keep up with his homework. And truthfully, there have been times I fully understood his frustrations, but I still had to keep up my end of the deal as a parent and make him do what he needed to do. It doesn't always feel good either, arguing with your kid about why he shouldn't make a mountain out of a mole hill.
The other night, we were both so frustrated at each other that I told him to forget it and just get himself ready for bed.
"I'm not finished yet!" he said.
"I don't care. If it's gonna take you that long to do something simple, then you may as well sleep on it and try again in the morning."
"I'm not dumb!"
[Pause...]
I'm not sure where that came from. I hadn't said anything about him being dumb. In fact, he's made the principal's list and honor roll both first and second quarter this year, so CLEARLY he's not dumb! But I had to wonder if the pressure was getting to him.
Anyway, I've rabbited on long enough about this. Writing must be therapeutic somehow because I'm not nearly as hot under the collar as I was when I first started. Good thing, too. I think I'm going to ponder on this a bit and see if there's some way to reach a compromise between my time and the teacher's. Our common goal is to help the kids do well--I'm just not sure it needs to happen quite this fast or with such intensity. Kids need time to be, well, kids!
Thoughts?
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