Zeke and I have our own little bedtime ritual. After brushing teeth and changing clothes, I will read him a couple of books either from his collection or from the ones I pick up for him at the local library. Then it's usually lights out, and I will sit with him for a few minutes until he starts to nod off.
Enter baby brother, and things change BIG time!
On the evenings when Gabe decides he just wants to eat and go right to sleep, it's not so bad. Sometimes, however, he wants to be held because now he's wide awake and wants to check out his new pad. Can't say I blame him, considering he's only conscious for about 4 out of 24 hours in a day. Zeke still wants to sit in my lap for his stories, so I'm juggling a 35-pound 3-year-old and a roughly 7-pound baby, along with whichever book I'm supposed to be reading out of and am not allowed to drop anything. Thankfully I have fairly long arms.
Tonight was a bit of a challenge because Zeke decided he wanted something to drink before going to bed. Then he wanted some more, which I indulged him with along with a stern warning about not drinking too much before bedtime, yadda, yadda, yadda. Then Gabe was up and wanting to eat. After dealing with that, Zeke was ready for lights out, but I had to stay with him because he didn't want to be by himself. (The fact that his brother is in the crib means nothing to him at this point because he can't actually see him because of the bumpers.) A couple of minutes of cuddle time later, he wants more to drink. Hmmm! This goes on for almost an hour. After I finally leave the nursery and get most of the dishes loaded in the dishwasher, I hear a whiney voice say, "Mommy, I need you in here!" It turns out Zeke needed a few more minutes of cuddle time.
I'm not a pushover, but by 9 p.m. I'm pretty much ready to drop, and that makes it hard to be a calm and patient parent of a 3-year-old who constantly wants to push the envelope and figure out just how late he thinks he can stay up. (I didn't want to remind him there's a bit more flexibility on weekends; there's no reason to share that information with him just yet.)
Sometimes I forget that this big brother is still just a little guy who occasionally needs his mommy to pick him up and hold him just like the baby in the crib. I think this is going to be a challenge for me because I tend to rely on him being the big brother and not needing me as much as he used to. Of course, that changes when someone else needs my attention and he no long gets me all to himself as he once did. Jeremy--my husband--and I realized this and have been working with Zeke to overcome this even before Gabe was born, but it's much easier said than done. No matter how much time you spend preparing your first child for the arrival of the second, there is always that regression into a much needier state than they really are, and that can be frustrating for any parent!
But when all is said and done, you can only do what you can do. I survived the arrival of my younger brother, and Zeke will be just fine. Besides, he's too darn independent to be otherwise!
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